School isn't hard

School isn't hard. You come in, you pay attention to the geezer up front, you jolt a few things down, you leave the room and you come in again the next day to do the same thing over. When you compare it to every other thing in life, work, surviving the Amazon jungle, navigating through the streams of the Pacific, it's not hard at all. People will look at students who complain that they have it worst and say, "man up, pussy!" and they're absolutely right. It's not hard.

It shouldn't be hard, right? Everybody else is cruising through it all just fine. So why can't I get it the fuck together? Maybe it's just nature trying to weed me out of the course, maybe it's just trying to signal to me that this is not my calling. But then what is? Where am I supposed to be if not here? What am I supposed to do if not this? And what if there is no calling for me at all? We like to believe that everyone must be good at something but some of us are just completely crap at everything. Like we're the crap, unfortunate version of Midas where anything we touch turns to crap, disgusting, worthless, crap.

It's so simple. I'm not working two jobs on the side. I have access to a lot of information and facilities that should help me bat off every curve ball flying at my face. My parents are supportive in every way possible. So why am I still crap? Lack of talent? Lack of passion? Fuck it all. Failure sucks, I wish it'd just fuck off.