I wish I was a cat or something

I'm frustrated that I never got a single moment of enlightenment, aren't people supposed to have them during travels and shit? There's supposed to be that moment of clarity when you're walking alone by the river where you suddenly understand who you are. Movies have given me so many false hopes. But I'm not frustrated about movies, I'm frustrated that everyone seems to know what they want to do with their lives and I don't have a single clue whatsoever and then they all put me in a corner and judge me for not knowing. I want to do a lot of things but then I have to think about how that would feed me, how that would feed my parents in their retirement because I found out that we have no savings. And it's not out of some noble heroic psych that I'm doing this, it's because of debt. I owe my parents. I hate how people can just walk up to me and say, 'it's not your responsibility to pay them back, it's their job to take care of you and your education' well I'm sorry I'm not an ungrateful cunt, I'm sorry that I feel like I'm wasting their money because I don't have the least amount of interest in the field I'm studying, I'm sorry that you think my dreams are stupid and not worth chasing and that it's time to live in the real world and get a real job.

God damn Libya and their guilt tripping me into realising that I'm ungrateful and obnoxious for worrying about such little things... I hope the revolution will end soon though with freedom for the people. Even though when it happens they still have a long way to go to achieving the utopia that is fully functional democracy. This is why I hate politics.