"There is no aspect, no facet, no moment of life that can't be improved with pizza."

Past Thoughts

Thursday, 15 October 2009

why i (and perhaps other people) do stuff

During my week of tests i have faced some serious difficulty in concentrating on studying. i don't fully understand why. some parts i believe might be from the fact that i have the attention span of a kumquat, a condition my mother believe is a terminal stage of laziness. But that can't be all! if it had been so, all these years i would not have been able to pull through school and the fact is i (rather miraculously) did. i will never deny such truth because the blood, tears and countless nervous breakdowns felt too real to be a figment of my imagination.

so i tried to figure out why i couldn't concentrate during that whole week (again, please consider my attention span). After many distractions later, i realised something that i think i have known all my life but i just couldn't really place it. why did i used to stop playing handball during 4th grade and then start again around mid-late 5th grade? it was because i lost a series of games at reccess AND lunch so my handballing spirit dropped and i started to think that handball sucked and was no fun therefore i distracted myself with activities like bullying kids and monopolizing the playground equipments (a horrible child i was, i know and im regretful). Then when i got to 5th grade, i began playing again and i keep winning, learning new super awesome moves and then i started liking handball again. after then i started breathing handball, it was quite pathetic actually.. but by 6th grade noone played handball anymore and i couldn't really play with myself, hence why i started squash.

from that seemingly pointless explanation of my sad, pathetic childhood, i actually realised that well, i only like doing something either because the activity was my current obsession (i do that sometimes, find something truly fascinating and that would be the only thing i care about like right now, its alice's adventures in wonderland) or it was something i'm pretty good at. so relating this completely tested out hypothesis and the subjects i have to cram for, it sorta well, made sense! lets list out what i have to study, maths: i stopped liking ever since it stopped being about taking apples from a kid in the playground, geography: i suck at geography, history: i have no interest if it's not about hitler, vietnam war or the cold war (also my current fascination), english: me no good at grammer, indonesian: i'm not a fan of reading, and all the other subjects: formality... not awesome at all. the only thing i sort of was excited to learn about was my inability to focus.

so there you have it folks, not only do i have a microscopic attention span, i'm also not motivated at things that don't attract my intrigue or things i suck at doing and now you have wasted approximately 2 minuted unless you read really slow or really fast.

i swear i'll write about something important next time. so i hear SBY is cutting the subsidy for oil?

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