Scented crayons would never let me feel this way

"How many ears must one man have before he can hear people cry?"

Which is the bigger sin? To not be able to hear but also not to try to hear, or to hear but not act based on what one hears?

I said before how frustrated I was from feeling unable to help people who need help the most. It was only a few days ago when I realised that I know nothing of the people I want to help. How can we fix something when we don't know even know the problem. You can sit in a room, reading textbooks, listening to the news, base your decisions off of them and call it a day but deep inside you know that would never really be enough. I want to see the world but I'm too frightened of what I might find. It's a cruel and horrible place out there and I don't know if I can bear it, but I feel like the agony I feel in this room, thinking about how little I know and how little I try to know isn't really a clear alternative.

Does any of this make sense? Do you know how conflicted my 'soul' feels right now? It sounds silly and you probably think I'm overreacting but I'm afraid to sleep because I know the next time I open my eyes, someone just shut theirs for the last time and I did nothing to stop it. But I don't know how.