Cold Pizza, Warm Beer

It doesn't make sense. Why doesn't anything feel real? Why do things keep happening on the other side of that door but here, everything goes as though without a single consequence or repercussion? Days feel like months, hours feel like minutes, months feel like hours and years all the same. It's like a broken simulation and nobody is saying anything. If it were a simulation, am I the subject or another background component whose only purpose is realism. And the faces they talk, oh they talk, but never say a word. What are they trying to tell us?

Do we exist? Did I exist prior to the time you knew about me? What if my memories lie? What if they never were? The sounds of a roaring motorcycle engine 400m, now 600m, away, do they exist or nothing but a figment of my imagination? And what if they are just a part of my imagined reality, is it any more false than everything else?

I need to sleep. I sleep but it doesn't feel like sleep. Sometimes I'd shut my eyes and it feels like time travel, sometimes forwards sometimes back. I either sleep through the day or not a single wink. It's exhausting but why should I sleep? What difference does it make whether I'm awake or not?