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What am I doing? I don't know. Should I know? Is that our purpose? Why do I have to know? Apparently it's zen not to think about it and just do. And, isn't zen supposed to make me feel like I'm at peace? I probably just don't get it yet. How do you tell the difference between a fool and a wise man? There is meaning to everything and the meaning is that ultimately they have no meaning. Sounds like something a drunk would say in intoxication.

"Let go" they said. "Don't drift away" they said. "Time's running out" they said. I know, it's not a lot to remember. Please, I know. But don't you see? Listen to the statements again, why can't you see that you're just saying words that sound good but mean absolutely nothing? The inconsistency of speech and thought and action, it's what's really tearing me apart.

So what if I don't know? You sure as hell don't either. Admit it, just sit down and admit that none of us knows what's going on, that we're all just getting through each day, one day at a time, the best way we know how. I'm not excelling at life and you're not excelling at life. Excel? What does that even mean? Oh grow up, we're not in school anymore. Or don't, whatever, why should I have to have everything figured out?

"Just do it" said another. Or maybe I read it somewhere. Was it a sign or another gimmicky marketing campaign? Then again, what's the difference?