Tips for walking in the park

I think there's never really any reason for anyone to walk around the park all by themselves unless you are:

1. Jogging
2. Stalking a prey what/whomever it/he/she may be (the reason I say 'it' is because i don't know what category kids fall under)
or 3. A hobo.

But there are always times when you feel like taking a walk in solitude as you feel one with nature --and because you live in a depressing concrete jungle, the artificial 'nature' that is a park would do-- without having the annoying barking of your dog or friends following each step you take. And I understand that, douche. So here is something I propose --because I'm like that, helping people out all the time-- to avoid the awkward encounters with the occasional, judgmental passerby. You could pay a hobo to walk alongside you. So you can walk around the park and people watch without it looking to creepy to other people but also not have to deal with the obnoxious sound that exits one's mouth. If you happen to meet someone you know and they ask you to introduce them to your 'friend' you can shrug it off and simply say he's a hipster friend for school. They're usually not very difficult to find but at times quite tricky to persuade into being your personal park chaperone. Sometimes you have the bargain of giving them a ten-er or even just buy them lunch but they might be completely unpredictable and stab you right then and there because it turns out you hadn't approached a hobo but a creepy geezer who is stalking a prey what/whomever it/he/she may be which ironically, just turns out to be you. But there is that other possibility that they ask you for drugs instead but those can be quite expensive, you can however tell them that you will only receive the drugs the next day and that he could just waltz by and pick it up then, you then slip them the address of that jank girl in class whose address you memorised by heart for reasons I really don't understand (or prepared before you left the house that morning, whatever) and then leave abruptly saying you have business elsewhere before they start asking questions.

Or if you're not up to the challenge of meeting new people and possibly gaining new acquaintances then I suggest that consider the idea that nobody really gives a shit what or where you do things because most people at the park probably are so preoccupied in hiding whatever sketchy business they have there to begin with. I mean really, who goes to the park anymore these days unless you want to hide bodies. So when you do go out to the park, just walk like you would normally walk and overlook everything other people do and they will do the same.